So Maura and I went to the dentist today for our checkups and cleanings. I have grown to tolerate these checkups over the years. No one really enjoys to listen to your dentist chastise you for not flossing everyday or reteach you how to brush (that one bugs me the most.) In any case, I knew that these checkups need to be done, so we did it. Well, I am regretting that decision now.........
Let me explain the scene for you. So..... I drive up to this apartment complex in provo that has a sign for a dental office on the bottom floor. Fair enough, they are a modest joint. I walk in to find that I could see the entire dentist office from the front door....even the patrens having their teeth worked on. That definetly bugged me a little, but I am not one to back down, and I had already made the appointments, so I stepped two feet from the front door to the front desk. Immediately I had an urge to use the restroom. I asked where the restroom was and the receptionist pointed behind me and said "down the hall on the left." Well, I turned around and almost ran into the bathroom door! Yah....down the hall....What hall? After using the bathroom/closet space...I proceed to the chair, in an open room, to have my teeth cleaned. I was met by an overzelous recent graduate of the BYU dental program. She talked like she knew what she was doing so I was ok with being worked on only 6 ft from the receptionist desk. (I'm not kidding!)
Over the next 45 min., I continually cursed in my head for ever even calling this place! At the very beginning, she stuck something in my mouth that I had never seen before. It was a super scraper that squirted out a solution that was basically salt water. I tried my best not to gag or cry as she gouged my gums till blood was running out the sides of my mouth! Only five minutes had gone by at this point..... I then got talked to like I was five years old...she proceed to chastise me for not using a "soft tooth" brush and that my medium tooth brush was "ruining" my gums! I then was re-taught how to brush my teeth! lame......I was then told that I probably had a high fever when I was kid, because my bottom teeth were grown in all weird. Thanks, I said.
Anyways, she finally stopped scraping me with this nasty salt shooting thing... I can still taste the salt in my mouth. During this time, she asked me every five seconds if I was Ok. You'd think that the twitches and horrified looks gave it away that I was NOT even close to being ok. After this brutal attack on my teeth, she then used that standard scraper thing. Somehow, she made sure that the scraper thing was a painful experience as well. By this time, my nerves were shot and I wished that Maura was there to take me away. The dental hygenist said that the visit was almost over and that all she had to do was floss my teeth and polish them before the doctor took a look at my teeth. What a relief I thought........WRONG! Wrong ! WRONG!
I have never been more humiliated and violated in my life.
She proceed to shove this floss down to the roots of my teeth till blood filled my mouth. Oh yah, she made me hold up a mirror up so I can see her torture my gums. It was sick! I could see blood squirting out of gums. She kept saying, "don't worry, after a week of flossing like this, your gums will build resilience and won't bleed." DUH! That cause by then I will have bled to death!
Man, after that flossing, my teeth hurt so bad. Thankfully the doctor came in soon after. He was like an angel in the day light. The "evil" dental hygienist stepped away, and the gentle doctor took a look inside my mouth. He was so gentle and nice the entire time. After that, my turn was up and Maura was ready to take the hot seat. I couldn't bear to watch....to make a long story short, she came home and could barely move her mouth. We tried to eat some string cheese, but it was too painful to chew....String cheese....after ONLY a cleaning! COME ON! They asked us when we wanted to set up return appointments......I began to hear the cursing again in my head. No Thanks, I said. Now it is late tonight and Maura and I are now enjoying solid food again.....
Oh, one more thing.... Poor Maura had a Typhoid shot as well in her arm almost immediately following the dentist. She has been incapacitated this whole evening. Poor thing!
